Cat and Rose - Cat & Rose - Chapter 47 - Cycle and Begin Again (9)

Chapter 47 – Cycle and Begin Again (9)

The conversation continued from inside the door. The Colonel vaguely made an affirmative response.

Lin Si…was not going on the expedition? Then what about himself?

Ling Yi looked at the metallic door in a daze, the rims of his eyes turning red. He had no idea when Lin Si made this decision. At least, the last time they talked about it, Lin Si even told him that they would voyage together within the sea of stars. He had always been looking forward to it the past few days.

Without anyone else, without the Marshal and Madam who were always pointing fingers, and without the strenuous research programmes, Lin Si could rest and do what he wanted to do. There would only be the Colonel and many friends he knew from Area 3 on the ship—they were all people he really liked.

They were going to have a happy journey, where they would encounter various mysterious galaxies and many giant, beautiful sceneries. Lin Si would explain the causes of these astronomical phenomena, and at that moment he would be very patient, very gentle. Ling Yi liked times like these.

But things have changed now. If Lin Si remained on the Voyager, all his wishes would be destroyed.

The devastation of a wish first brought about disbelief, then sadness and disappointment, then after disappointment, he became angry.

Ling Yi bit his lips and blinked, forcing his tears to not fall.

He thought about Vivian.

Vivian was a fully-formed voyage system. She had always wanted to take over the ship, or perhaps even managing a few small facilities would be good enough, but Tang Ning never allowed her, because he had always been experimenting things on her such as emotion simulation. This time, Lucia was installed on the new ship, leaving the Voyager, so Vivian thought she could finally be put to full use, but she never thought that the one to take over would be the initial system.

In the end, she was just Tang Ning’s experiment. She had no authority to know about many things, and even if she had something she wanted to do, she could only follow orders.

Just like how Lin Si always had many things on his mind, had to consider many areas in his decisions, but he would never tell him.

But he also wanted to know what troubles Lin Si encountered, and help lessen his burdens a bit.

He could only stay in his room, or outside it, waiting for Lin Si to come out from the Marshal or Madam’s office and come back to his side, just like a little pet.

He stood there quietly, recalling many similar fragments in his memories of himself idly waiting for Lin Si to return, occasionally sending one or two messages to him. He wanted to send many of them and talk to Lin Si, but was afraid he would be a disturbance.

He hated this feeling.

“…I hate Lin Si,” he muttered to himself.

The hallway lights illuminated his beautiful features. Those black eyes that glittered with stars were obscured by a misty, watery glow, diminishing his lovely, delicate innocence.

Ling Yi stood for another while, forcing his emotions down, then he knocked on the door of the master control room, entered, and proceeded with some simple procedures to activate Lucia.

The Colonel looked at the control panel, his expression becoming serious, “The preparation work is almost done, we can set off tomorrow morning.”

Svena said, “Let’s hope we have a safe journey.”

She turned to Ling Yi. “Is Lingling still coming with us?”

After knowing that Lin Si was staying on the spaceship, both Svena and the Colonel tacitly acknowledged that Ling Yi knew too.

Ling Yi looked at Lucia’s activation progress bar, pursing his lips, “I still don’t know.”

“It’s better if you still come with us,” Svena shrugged, “I heard Lin Si is going to be frozen anyway even though he’s staying. It’s not that great if you stay on the Voyager by yourself.”

Ling Yi said, “…Mm-hm.”

After he left, the Colonel asked, “Why did Ling Yi look like he was in a bad mood?”

“Of course he’s upset,” Svena smiled. “After all, he has to part with Lin Si for such a long time.”

***

Lin Si was organising the information for programmes, arranging for Su Ting to take over.

There were no big projects planned in the next few years for Area 6, and the original numbers were cut down too. After he slept, Su Ting would take over his authority to handle some general affairs.

After he made his decision, these things all came easily to him. The only thing that worried him was the issue with Ling Yi.

Lin Si’s selfish heart wanted Ling Yi to go to cryogenic sleep with himself, so that after they woke up, they would still be the same as the present, where he could take care and protect him well.

If not cryogenic sleep, then staying on the Voyager was also acceptable, however, the next few years on the Voyager would certainly not be as tranquil, so it was ultimately better to avoid it.

Lin Si was used as a target for the conspirator behind the scenes, as such, the Marshal chose to let him sleep in order to prevent the obfuscation of audiovisual information. The Lucia system was transferred to the new spaceship, and the Voyager system that emphasised monitoring and safety was reactivated. These gestures demonstrated clearly that in the future there would be strict purges and checks that were going to happen on the ship.

The days before the Expeditioner took off were seemingly tranquil and still without waves, but in reality, there were many things brewing in the shadows.

After the takeover process was completed, the time was already late evening.

Ling Yi still hasn’t returned…something was wrong.

He sent a text message to Ling Yi, but did not receive a reply either.

Lin Si had a hunch, so he went to the stargazing b79 platform that Ling Yi liked the most, but there was not a single shadow there.

At this time, Area 3’s training session had already ended, everyone else had also reached their rest hours too, so Ling Yi was probably not with other people.

Lin Si pondered Ling Yi’s usual behavioural patterns, then went to Area 3.

Ling Yi had a room in his name in Area 3, even though he did not sleep here.

At that time, they jokingly said that if one day Ling Yi had been bullied by Lin Si, he could run back here to sleep.

The room’s iris recognition had already recorded Lin Si’s data, so he did not need to knock to freely enter.

As expected, there was a lump sticking out of the bed.

There was a hint of a smile in Lin Si’s eyes. He sat on the side of the bed, reaching out to pat the adorably-shaped lump. “Why aren’t you going back?”

Ling Yi, who had buried himself inside the blanket, ignored him.

“What are you angry about?” Lin Si leaned down to ask him, then tried to swipe away the blanket to scoop him out.

Ling Yi struggled violently several times within the blanket, refusing to come out no matter what.

Lin Si frowned. One possibility floated to the top of his mind, so he opened his communicator and sent a message to the Colonel. “Ling Yi found out I’m not going?”

The Colonel replied very quickly. “…He didn’t know?”

Lin Si: “.”

On the other side of the communicator, the Colonel looked at the single full stop that Lin Si sent, suddenly had a revelation, then scratched his head. “Seems like you’re in trouble, Doctor.”

Lin Si shut the communicator and walked out of the room.

The moment the room door closed, Ling Yi almost leaped from the bed. He pushed off the blanket on his body, his pretty eyes glaring at the tightly shut door.

He was really angry.

He was so angry that his breathing was ragged and his eyes a formed watery blob. His chest rapidly heaved several times, then continued to sulk and bury himself inside the blanket.

However, Lin Si did not leave like he thought; after approximately twenty minutes, the room door reopened.

Lin Si carried his own blanket over, placing it on the bed.

Even though Ling Yi, who was in a fit of anger, was still unwilling, he still wiggled further into the bed, leaving an empty space.

Lin Si tidied up, then laid down beside him.

He heard Lin Si’s voice.

“Looking at the big picture, the situation does not allow me to leave the Voyager,” said Lin Si. “Originally, I strongly rejected the Marshal and Madam’s request, but now we have a new danger. The Berlin virus almost leaked out last night.”

“I don’t want to leave the Voyager, just like how I didn’t want to leave Earth a long time ago,” Lin Si said calmly, “can you understand me?”

Ling Yi did not respond, so Lin Si continued, “I wanted to talk to you about this in the morning, but you ran off too quickly. Do you want to be frozen with me, or do you want to stay on the ship with Su Ting?”

Ling Yi continued to play deaf.

Lin Si laughed helplessly, then rubbed Ling Yi’s head through the blanket. “I was wrong, be good. Remember to tell me tomorrow. Goodnight.”

This night was just as in the past, extremely quiet. Inside the room, only the steady sounds of breathing existed.

At two in the morning, the ball Ling Yi curled up into suddenly moved. He opened up his blanket, revealing his pale face.

His eyes were slightly red. He did not have a drowsy expression, so it did not seem like he was shaken awake in the middle of the night, but rather he could not sleep at all.

He sat up from the bed, took out his diary from the bedside, flipped it open, and wrote down today’s date. Then the tip of his pen paused for a very long time.

He thought of many things, but was unable to pen them down in the end.

“I wanted to go to deep sleep together with Lin Si and always stay by his side, even though he’s a troublesome person.” He looked at Lin Si, murmuring to himself within his heart. “But even after we wake up, we’ll still remain like this.”

He did not want to stay like this—following Lin Si from behind, always waiting for him. He wanted…

He did not even know what he wanted. He only hated their current way of coexistence very, very much.

Something madly scratched at his heart. He desperately tried to figure out how exactly he wanted Lin Si to treat himself, but in the end he could not put it to words, and could only gaze at the starry sky outside the window at a loss, the rims of his eyes souring.

“I don’t want to leave Lin Si.” He moved his gaze away, writing down in his diary stroke by stroke. “But I have to leave Lin Si.”

This decision was perhaps reckless, but it came from the heart.

He leaned over, his entire being looking down on Lin Si.

His hand lifted up uncontrollably, wanting to touch Lin Si, but he retracted it.

His breaths trembled slightly. He felt like he wanted to cry.

He was looking at Lin Si, whom he liked the most, yet he wanted to cry.

“I’ll go to a place without you and grow up,” he said quietly. “Then, I’ll come back to find you.”

The faraway glow of the stars shone through the window, highlighting his expression at this moment. Although it was sorrowful, it made one think of gentleness.

He took out a sleeping spray from the bedside. Many people on the ship, in particular scientific researchers, would have a certain amount of anxiety, so this type of commonly distributed relaxation medication could allow them to sleep more soundly.

He sprayed it many times on Lin Si’s pillow, completely exceeding the usual dose, then he took Lin Si’s bracelet, unlocked it, and cancelled the alarm.

When he finished, he tore off the page in his diary, folded it, placed it on the head of the bed, then left the room.

At nine o’clock in the morning, the Expeditioner would take off.

After Lin Si woke up from a particularly groggy sleep, his first reaction was to look at the time.

8:40.

He swiftly got dressed, then in his peripheral vision, saw the diary page at the head of the bed. After unfolding, what he saw was Ling Yi’s handwriting.

When he saw that phrase, he immediately understood what Ling Yi meant—even though he had no idea why Ling Yi said it.

His mind went blank for an instant.

“Dr Lin, you—” A military officer was about to greet Lin Si who seldom showed up in Area 3, but then he saw Lin Si swiftly typing on his communicator while walking past him in a rush. “Excuse me.”

When Lin Si arrived at the connection port between the Expeditioner and the Voyager, the last batch of people were boarding the ship, Ling Yi among them.

Ling Yi was looking in his direction. When he saw Lin Si, he stiffened, his eyes curved up into a smile, then turned his head and walked up the gangway.

He did not look back, not even once.

He gathered all of his resolve to force himself, as if he was leaving Sodom that was reduced to ashes by the raging flames and sulphur.

Because he knew—if he turned back and saw Lin Si, he would not be able to stop himself from returning to his side.

When everyone boarded the Expeditioner, the elevated cabin door closed shut with a “bang”. A miniscule buzz resounded from all four directions as the warp drive engine activated.

There was a smidge of white within the crowd, but even from those muddled features, Ling Yi could sketch out all the details of Lin Si’s appearance by heart.

The spaceship gradually lifted upwards. The sands of the crimson red earth rolled and swirled violently, and the Voyager’s dark, majestic hull was like a ferocious beast that eventually swallowed Lin Si’s figure whole.

Ling Yi’s breaths quickened slightly as he raised his finger to touch the ship window. The planet became a dot of light, and the scenery from outside the window gradually darkened. The stars in the endless, desolate darkness sparkled faintly.

When the warp drive completely activated, the spaceship leapt into the third-level warp space, and all that was left in their surroundings was vast darkness.

He retracted his icy hand that was cooled by the ship window, taking out that photo from the left breast pocket of his military uniform, near his heart.

During the engagement banquet, Ling Jing, wearing a white nightgown, had her arms linked by Su Ting, who wore a sweet, gentle smile. Behind them were all kinds and sorts of joyful people.

The lights were lit up in the little building on the edge of the photo. One could imagine that the two blurry silhouettes by the window were lovingly and happily looking at their daughter.

The people who laughed joyfully in the photo were all buried on the Earth thousands and millions of light years away. And at that time, the Voyagers who left Earth were just like the Expeditioners today who were leaving the base.

With no signal and only blessings, within the vast universe, they officially lost connection with the base. Unless they made a triumphant return, they would never ever meet again.

His hands shook slightly, flipping the photo over to reveal that line on the back.

“Before us lies eternity; our souls are love, and a continual farewell.”

He thought of many years ago, when the Voyagers left Earth, Lin Si must have stood in front of the ship window and gazed, just like him, at their gradually disappearing homeland, and the people on that homeland who were engulfed in suffering.

The Lin Si of yesterday was just like himself today. Everyone needed to choose, whether they were willing or forced. As such, encounters are ephemeral, farewells are eternal, and pain cycles, beginning once more. 25

*

The author has something to say:

Sodom City – a city in the Bible that God destroyed. Angels told Lot and his family to not turn back no matter what when he left, but Lot’s wife missed her hometown, so she turned to look, and was transformed into a salt pillar.

This chapter was a very important part I’ve wanted to write this whole time, then I will start a section for the new planet. The little kitten will grow up quickly QWQ

Update tomorrow.

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