Cat and Rose - Cat & Rose - Chapter 58 - When Dawn Breaks (2)

Chapter 58 – When Dawn Breaks (2)

Ling Yi observed Lin Si.

In the years he was gone, Lin Si had been sleeping the whole time. Time had not left a single trace on him, still appearing as the same person in his memories.

After the uncontrollable emotions at the beginning passed, he felt a little awkward, not knowing what to say. He simply held Lin SI’s hand, his uneasy fingers scratching Lin Si’s palm through the transparent protective layer.

Lin Si’s hand was beautiful, with long, thin fingers and well-defined knuckles. It was still the same one he liked when he was young. Back then, when he had nothing to do, he liked to put his palm against LIn Si’s, overlapping their five fingers together. Lin Si’s fingers would always be a bit longer than his own, but not now.

—Suddenly, he realised he really was no longer a child. The things he liked to do when he was a teenager, such as flopping on Lin Si or leaning into his arms, now seemed indescribably awkward.

When he left Lin Si, he wanted to free himself of that oppressive and inextricable relationship where he was like Lin Si’s little pet, but now that he had truly grown up, he was clueless as to how he should get along with Lin Si. This sentiment filled his heart with panic, like he desperately wanted to grab ahold of something, but did not know what it was.

Seeing that Ling Yi was silent and unmoving for a long time, only staring at his fingers, Lin Si simply let him hold his hand for a while.

However, there was one matter he had to get to the bottom of.

LIn Si retracted his own hand.

Ling Yi lifted his head to look at him.

There was a slight purple that exuded from those the black pupils. His gaze was not joyful or sorrowful…there was some confusion in it, but it was not the naive confusion of a child, it looked more like he was plagued with matters of the heart.

This look was fleeting; after an instant, those eyes became clear once more. Ling Yi tilted his head slightly and asked him what was wrong.

Lin Si said, “Why did you leave before?”

Ling Yi blinked, attempting to feign innocence to avoid the question.

Lin Si stared back expressionlessly. His gaze made his hair stand on its ends.

Ling Yi attempted to shuffle past the issue. “I wanted to go out to play.”

Lin Si’s expression clearly wrote: Does it look like I believe you.

Ling Yi stuttered, “Really.”

Lin Si said flatly, “So you made me inhale an excessive amount of sleeping spray, left one sentence saying you were running away from home, all just to go out to play? I don’t think I’m someone who’s easily tricked…perhaps you want me to consult the psychiatrist about your motives at that time?”

Ling Yi knew he could not keep it hidden anymore.

He lowered his eyes and organised his words…either way, he had never been able to hide anything from Lin Si.

“The days before I left, I was really upset,” he said.

Lin Si stiffened.

Ling Yi did not wait for him to ask and simply continued. “A lot of things happened, you might not have known about it.”

He lifted his head, looking at Lin Si, “Back then you didn’t have any projects, but you were always busy and came back late every day, and wouldn’t tell me about what happened. I would always…feel worried, but even if I messaged you, you would only reply after a very long time.”

Lin Si could remember there were indeed a lot of things happening on the spaceship at that time, as well as the crisis of the Berlin virus almost leaking out in the storage room. He certainly did not speak properly with Ling Yi during that period.

“You were still young at that time, there were many unpleasant things going on.” He frowned, then said, “That’s why I never said anything. But you could’ve asked me directly.”

“No.” Ling Yi shook his head. “What I wanted wasn’t to know what you’re doing.”

“Hm?”

“At that time, I couldn’t do anything on the ship. Even if I knew what you were doing, I had no way of intervening. So I thought, if I grew up a little more, and rose to a higher status on the ship, would it mean that I could share your burdens so you don’t have to work so hard?” he smiled. “Or further in the future, if I became like the Marshal one day, I would treat you well. If you want to work on ‘limitless’, you could. You’d be able to do any project, you could defrost anyone to help you at any time, and your resources wouldn’t be taken away by Area 2…that was basically what I thought.”

Lin Si was truly stunned this time.

Regarding Ling Yi’s departure, he thought of many reasons why he would do such a thing, but the only thing he could not think of was this. That he did it not as a youth’s rebellion, but rather, to obtain something—for himself.

“Thanks…” he said. “But did you really have to leave?”

“Yeah, I thought it was the fastest way,” Ling Yi said seriously. “I had my own plan when I went with the Expeditioner. There will be medals awarded, lots of them. Later, with the virus and Lucia’s malfunction, I think I can be considered to have accomplished a great deed. After returning to Area 3 I will be rewarded, and the Marshal doesn’t hate me, um…I heard my father was his old acquaintance, just like how my mother and Madam Chen were good friends. So as long as I could return and go back to Area 3, I will no longer be an ordinary soldier.”

He paused for a while, then continued, “And then, I can start climbing upwards.”

Like Su Ting said, Ling Yi was not someone who made decisions on impulse. He had his own judgement, and was meticulous in his thought process.

—Well, perhaps he and everyone else found it meticulous, but not Lin Si.

The decision to leave the Voyager would indeed bring Ling Yi a splendid future, provided that he was able to return.

Even though the situation could not be turned back, and Ling Yi had certainly returned, it was evident that he did not return peacefully and safely.

“It’s my fault,” Lin Si told him. “We lacked communication during that time. You could’ve told me what you wanted to do and I would’ve supported you, and I would’ve told you the reason why I wasn’t able to care for you at that time. It’s not that you needed to go on that expedition. You’ll grow up no matter what, so these things can be taken slowly.”

“I didn’t want to wait anymore, I couldn’t grow up by your side,” Ling Yi said quietly. “I was miserable. I was miserable every day. I didn’t want you to wait anymore. I hoped you would sleep so time would pass very shortly, so then as soon as you opened your eyes, I would be able to protect you.”

Lin Si did not respond for a very long time. He had so many things he wanted to say, but he did not know how to express them and could only say in the end, “What if you never returned?”

Planetary exploration was fraught with dangers. A virus could kill a person, Lucia could break down completely, the Expeditioner could not guarantee it would never crash.

“Even if I didn’t return, I would’ve definitely done my best to protect myself and the Expeditioner. It would be the same for anyone else. I wouldn’t regret it, although…” The hand he used to hold Lin Si’s tightened unconsciously, and his voice quivered. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay,” Lin Si looked at him. “You’re not the only one who’s unwilling to part.”

If Ling Yi had been buried in the sea of stars, then the moment before passed, the pain caused by his permanent separation from Lin Si, compared to the feeling of loss when Lin Si woke up and learned that Ling Yi would not return—he could not decide which feeling was more painful.

“I know.” Ling Yi originally had reddened eyes, but after hearing those words, he laughed. “That’s why I’ve come back.”

He knew.

The reason why he was able to shamelessly act spoiled was because he knew that Lin Si always loved and doted on him. He knew all this time that he was an important existence, knew that Lin Si would sleep more deeply at night when he was with him, that he would be in a better mood whenever he teased him. He also knew Lin Si was handsome, but it was hidden underneath that emotionless, cold exterior, whereas in actuality he was very, very gentle—the gentleness of helping him tie his bow-tie every day, the gentleness of adding sugar to his pack of nutrient fluid.

Hence, he could not accept that he would never see Lin Si again, just as he could not accept that Lin Si would never see himself again. This sentiment never vanished from his mind, allowing him to struggle back many times at the edges of life and death and finally return to his homeland.

Lin Si said, “But you’re very sick.”

“Aren’t you the warlock of the legends…?” Ling Yi blinked. “That’s why, even though it hurts, I feel I’ll be cured as long as I see you. I left lots of samples. Were they useful?”

“Very,” said Lin Si.

“That’s good.” Ling Yi’s eyes smiled brightly, as if the person who had been tormented to the point of collapse was not him.

“Lin Si,” he called out.

“Hm?”

“I want…”

There was no continuation even after he pondered for a long time. Even Ling Yi himself did not know what he wanted to express.

Finally, he said, “Sit down.”

LIn Si did not know what he wanted to do, but he still sat down.

The makeshift ward did not include a chair, so he could only sit on the side of the bed, his back facing Ling Yi.

In the next instant, Ling Yi’s arm reached over from behind, encircling him, then he pressed close and buried his head on his shoulder.

Ling Yi finally found a comfortable pose, squinting his eyes in satisfaction as he hugged Lin Si even tighter.

When he was a little one, he certainly had the advantage of being little, but it was not as if it was completely hopeless after growing big.

Lin Si could feel Ling Yi’s satisfaction. He had always interpreted Ling Yi’s words and gestures very accurately.

He relaxed his body and leaned on Ling Yi, clearly feeling the heartbeat of the person behind him, and felt as if there was something wrong with this overly intimate pose.

It became clear to him that after waking up, the little one had suddenly turned into a big one. Although there was no major change in his personality, it seemed that he still needed some time to get used to it.

*

The author has something to say:

Happy 520! Have some sweets~ 37

This part is mainly romance development~

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