Cat and Rose - Cat & Rose - Chapter 69 - The Sun is Dazzling, So Are You (4)

Chapter 69 – The Sun is Dazzling, So Are You (4)

As he closed the diary, Lin Si turned on his bracelet to add Ling Yi back.

Ling Yi’s information appeared on the search interface.

He looked at Ling Yi’s profile picture, which was a selfie he took in the snow. The howling winds blew at his hair, while he looked at the camera expressionlessly, holding up a “V” sign. His facial features were exquisite and beautiful, like a little yaojing spirit.50

The little spirit’s profile picture suddenly flashed, and the signature changed.

The string of meaningless “lalalalalalalala” changed into a sentence, or specifically, a line from a poem.

To be even more precise, a line from a love poem.

“I’d like to have the thousand eyes of the eternal night, to contemplate you alone.” 51

There were many things that were forebode, yet until the moment it finally came, you would never know how much of an unstoppable torrent it was. Perhaps fate was indeed like a straight railroad track; when passengers saw the road sign erected at the side, they would know which destination they would reach ahead of them, just as how the night would always descend upon the world, and how the morning sun would always rise.

He moved his gaze away from the interface, as if prompted by something out of nowhere, and looked at the river of stars outside the window.

Upon the curtains of the night, thousands of stars twinkled, watching over everything here, gentle and silent.

How should he respond to this vast sky of starlight? 52

He clicked open the interface for his signature, deleted the original full-stop, and replaced it with: Come here.

Two minutes later, Ling Yi updated his signature: Not coming.

Lin Si updated: Three minutes.

Ling Yi: I’ll take my leave.

Lin Si: ?

Ling Yi: .

Lin Si: Wait there.

Ling Yi: cri. 53

Lin Si decided to find Ling Yi himself to drag out the cowardly yet bold little ostrich.

When Dr Lin was in his prime years, he was a famous character, that when he passed through the thickets with thousand flowers, no leaves would stain his clothes.54 Under the old world sycamores in summer,55 the instant the breeze lifted the corners of his white clothes—who knew how many shy and timid maiden hearts were moved at the sight.56 Of course, he received countless love letters and refused a number of confessions—but he had never seen an act like that.

Confession in the style of blocking, courtship in the form of shutting oneself in, it could almost be written in textbooks as a classic negative example that was criticised year after year.

The moment he opened his door, he saw Ling Yi standing right outside.

His eyes drooped down, and his whole person appeared different from usual, neither lively nor happy.

His eyes were cautious, with wet unease, looking at Lin Si. Lin Si did not know how long he had been standing outside the door.

Lin Si wanted to tease him, but seeing such a pair of eyes, his heart immediately softened.

—The little thing that he raised for so long, that even a slight hiccup would prompt him to plead for doting…He could not stand seeing his uneasy and flustered expressions, even if it was himself who caused them.

He said, “Let’s talk inside.”

Ling Yi pouted, refusing to enter.

“Why are you being difficult?” Lin Si picked up his hand. “Hm?”

“I’m not,” Ling Yi muttered glumly. “I…”

He could not say anything after that, like something had suffocated his entire body.

The next moment, Lin Si let go of him, raised his right hand, and grabbed his collar.

Ling Yi looked into his eyes, a little dazed.

The next instant, Lin Si kissed his lips.

The thin lips that were slightly cool, the soft tip of the tongue, like a strong liquor that made his mind go blank.

The kiss was very short-lived. Lin Si let go of Ling Yi, folded his arms, made an expression as if he was smiling and said, “Are you willing to come in now?”

He looked at Ling Yi and saw that his little girlfriend’s eyes were red, already looking like he was about to cry.

“Why are you crying?” Lin Si patted his face. “Be good. Don’t cry.”

He was still fine when Lin Si did not say anything, but once he said those words, Ling Yi could not control his emotions at all, made a look as if he was about to burst into tears, and hugged Lin Si firmly.

Lin Si hugged him back, smoothing out his fur. With a soft and warm voice, he said, “Don’t cry, baby, my good boy.” 57

Ling Yi did not actually cry. He buried his face on Lin Si’s shoulder, his whole body quivering, and only slowly calmed down after a long time.

He did not know why he felt this way. The entire world felt as if there were fireworks, exploding after a long, dark night.

All his previous speculations and suspicions were overturned. He finally knew that, from an untraceable fragment of his youth, this was what his heart truly thirsted for—this was it… to lie in an embrace together with Lin Si on a certain night, becoming the most intimate, inseparable two people.

—Since then, he had gained enough ground to pursue his past, act as a participant in his past and future, and as a different self, sought his affection and…love.

He let go of Lin Si.

Lin Si asked, “So, are you sure you want to be my little girlfriend?”

“But I’m not a girl.”

Lin Si examined him from top to bottom. “But you’re really pretty, like a little kitten.”

“That’s still a male cat,” Ling Yi refuted.

“Alright.” Lin Si let out a laugh. “Then you’ll be my boyfriend.”

The tips of Ling Yi’s ears turned a little red.

Lin Si discovered this fact, so he gave them a pinch. “Do you plan to cohabitate with me, my boyfriend?”

Ling Yi said, “But you just kicked your boyfriend out several days ago.”

“Did I?” Lin Si raised his eyebrows. “It was my boy who I kicked out that day, to make room for my boyfriend.”

Ling Yi laughed.

Lin Si looked at him.

Those eyes had always been frosted over, but at this moment, they dissolved and melted, giving off a quiet serenity.

Ling Yi leaned down slightly to touch their lips together, and made a tentative lick and nibble.

Lin Si pressed his shoulders. Between the intertwined lips and tongues, he let out an ambiguous smirk from his unsteady breaths, then went on the offensive to teach him how to kiss.

After teaching him, they stuck and twisted together for another while. By the time he settled the little wild cat on the bed and covered him with the blanket, it was already midnight.

The wild cat turned off the light, refused to let go of his hold on Lin Si, blinked and asked, “Why did you accept me?”

Lin Si pondered, then answered, “Because you’re my darling.”

Ling Yi obtained a satisfactory answer, flopped around for a bit more and did not do anything else. Then he leaned on Lin Si’s shoulder and quickly fell asleep.

But Lin Si did not sleep.

In the dimly lit room, his eyes were frighteningly calm. His right hand slowly pressed against Ling Yi’s chest.

Under the thin layer of clothing, the young and strong chest, and the thin layer of muscles, was a living, steadily beating heart.

And the sound of heartbeats.

One beat.

Two beats.

His expression was still as calm and indifferent, but his breathing slightly quickened, all of which combined to form an almost paranoid fascination.

Over the years, Ling Yi’s heartbeat was something that strangely attracted him all this time.

His flourishing vitality was like the creeping grass that spread wildly all over in springtime, or the fiery sun that shone into a pitch-black prison cell, or the bright flame that lured moths to throw themselves into it.

His life every day was pale and feeble, with harshness and hopelessness never far from him. His soul was devoid of life, and only his physical shell still remained in the mortal world.

Until that year, Ling Yi opened his eyes and came to his side. That vibrant and flourishing vitality invaded his vision and life, and formed a line extending from the dusty world of mortality, gradually solidifying his precarious hold on the entire world.

Over the years, even the soul that was long dead had gradually reawakened, like the scene of winter’s passing to the coming of spring.

As such, he did not have anything he could not give Ling Yi, even if it was romantic love—especially if it was romantic love.

Because the love that Ling Yi sought from him, was exactly what Ling Yi had granted him with his own two hands. Even though the boy who was already asleep might not know about it, even though this moment might have arrived a little too hastily.

Lin Si’s fingers moved upwards, tracing Ling Yi features.

Goodnight, boyfriend.

***

Adelaide was drinking with Zheng Shu.

He watched Lin Si and Ling Yi’s signatures in the communication records change several times, then finally stop, and suddenly said:

“Do you believe that everything is predestined?”

“Why do you say that?” said Zheng Shu.

“For someone like Lin Si, whose faith has been shattered, whose soul has grown full of thorns, whose destiny is like a swamp, with sin and goodness intertwined and muddled, night and dawn inseparable—if he wishes to be reborn, he must save someone, or be saved by someone. There is no other way.” The psychiatrist’s smile was mysterious and bewitching, like a devil who perceived all sentient beings in hell. “From the moment I saw him on the spaceship, I knew what that someone would be like—if he ever promised someone to spend the rest of his life with. And reality is exactly as I predicted.”

“Did he receive salvation?” Zheng Shu was already tipsy, so he did not question further and said, “I thought someone like him can just pull himself out of the swamp.”

Adelaide suddenly guffawed.

“Impossible.” He took a gulp of alcohol. “I can bet with you, that the truth Lin Si knows is far more cruel than what any of us know.”

Zheng Shu also laughed.

“I don’t believe he knows everything,” he said.

“The sins of these cities are so grievous that the outcries have reached me.” Adelaide recited the words of Jehovah from the Old Testament in an almost overindulgent tone, then broke off to continue. “Many on the ship have sought my help, some big shots included. The pain they revealed on the inside was a hundred times stronger than what I could imagine…” 58

“No one is truly happy—what about you?” The psychiatrist suddenly looked at Zheng Shu with a scrutinising gaze. “I can tell that the pain you feel is no less than Lin Si’s. Where does it come from? How will you resolve it?”

Zheng Shu gulped down a glass of liquor, even though he was usually known for not touching even a drop of alcohol.

—After all, liquor made one forget pain. People always needed it.

He looked at Adelaide with a slightly dazed expression. “From my lover.”

He looked towards the ceiling, his voice revealing a slight drunkenness. “I often feel that she’s still here watching me, watching me at every moment…”

Adelaide was already drunk. He staggered to his feet, laughing as he sang the beloved folk ballads of nineteenth-century singers that wandered the streets, and fell on the bed.59

Zheng Shu dragged him aside and randomly flopped down as well.

Drunken nights with friends were painful yet wonderful. When one closed their eyes and opened them once more, it was as if they were still in that noisy and beautiful summer of twenty-three.

***

When early morning came, the light of stars shone upon on the outer shell of the spaceship, prompting it to shimmer and glow

Ling Yi buttoned upon the last button of his black uniform and kissed Lin Si on the forehead, “I’ll wait for you to come back to the Voyager.”

Lin Si leaned on the door frame, watching him walk away in the light of the morning sun. In the sunlight, the dusts of the mortal world danced and drifted, but the scene in front of him seemed as if it came from the heavens far away.

When Ling Yi disappeared at the end of the corridor, a door not far from him suddenly opened.

The hungover Adelaide had a splitting headache; his entire body seemed to float and drift. When he saw Lin Si, he cried like he had grasped the single, final straw that could save his life. “Doctor, I drank until the middle of the night and now I feel awful. I need treatment. “

Lin Si dodged his pounce, unruffled, then glared at him coldly when he wanted to pounce again. “I think you should get rid of the idea of hanging off my shoulder—after all, I have a boyfriend now.”

“And who was the one that let you have a boyfriend!” Adelaide complained indignantly. “It was me! The astute psychiatrist! Dionysus who perceives the heart!

Lin Si raised his eyebrows. “Sure enough, you were meddling.”

Adelaide caught the two mints that were tossed over by Lin Si. Confirming that Lin Si would not ask solicitously about his well-being and take utmost care of a good friend like himself, he hopelessly returned to Zheng Shu’s side.

Zheng Shu was programming while holding his aching hungover head. He ignored Adelaide and even snatched away a mint.

“Friendship! This phoney friendship!” In despair, Adelaide hugged a pillow for companionship.

*

The author has something to say:

Ah!

Some minor edits

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