Waiting for you online - - - Chapter 55

Chapter 55

On the way back to Daming, Song Zi Xiao neither looked at Song Zi Heng nor said a word, as if he had closed himself off in an invisible boundary, with anger and resistance radiating all around him.

Song Zi Heng looked at his half-swollen face, angry and heartbroken. His anger had almost died down along the way, and when he had calmed down, he reflected on whether he had failed in raising his younger brother, who was still young and still needed to be taught first and disciplined second.

Song Zi Heng took the initiative to walk over and lightly examined his chin: “Let big brother take a look …”

Song Zi Xiao flatly turned his face away and walked straight ahead.

Song Zi Heng sighed lightly.

In the late winter, it had just snowed heavily in Daming. From afar, the city-state, which was known as the pivot of Jiuzhou, was covered in snow, and the staggered layers of houses were like thousands of chess pieces on a chessboard, spreading out on the earth.

When returning to the Wuji Palace, Song Zi Heng did not settle down to rest, instead he went straight to apologize to Emperor Ning Hua. Huang Hong and Huang Wu’s letter would arrive at Daming before they did.

When he arrived at the inner palace, he ran into Song Ming He and Li Xiang Tong walking out leisurely.

Song Zi Heng greeted them and knelt on the ground, “Son pays respects to father and Queen Mother.”

Li Xiang Tong looked at Song Zi Heng from above and said coldly, “Has Heng Er learned anything from your travels?”

“Queen Mother, I have caught the notorious thief Chen Xing Yong.”

“Oh, then you must have found out who was responsible for the attack on you and Xiao Er in Chu land three years ago?”

“… not yet.”

“‘Not yet’? Then what is the use of you arresting him?” Li Xiang Tong’s voice turned sharp, “For three years, there have been vile rumors circulating inside and outside the palace that it would be in your second brother’s best interest if something happened to you and Zi Xiao, is that right?”

Song Zi Heng’s face suddenly changed, “Son has never heard of it, such nonsense. Ridiculous as it is, it will … it will dissipate itself.”

“It will dissipate itself?” Li Xiang Tong sneered, “How will it dissipate? Your second brother and I are counting on you to dispel the rumors and clear our name, but you’ve failed to do your job, and you’re blocking Huang Hong and Huang Wu from completing their mission. As the eldest child in Song clan, where did your elbows turn*?”

“Son, Son is still investigating. According to the clues given by Chen Xing Yong, I …”

“Shut up!” Song Ming He said angrily, “You made a trip out of the palace, not only did you take your younger brother into danger, you caught Chen Xing Yong and yet couldn’t find out the real culprit who attacked the both of you, and you returned the Gong Shu Ju you should have brought back. You were unable to accomplish anything but liable to spoil everything!”

Song Zi Heng was so uncomfortable that he felt like he was being roasted on a fire. His head humbly resting against the bone-chilling ice and snow as he whispered, “Please forgive me, Father.”

“Three years ago you missed the Jiaolong Assembly, and three years later you missed Gong Shu Ju. As the eldest brother, what example have you actually set for your younger siblings?!”

Song Zi Heng bit his lips, “Son … recognizes his mistake.”

Song Ming He’s gaze fell on Song Zi Heng’s sword and his brow wrinkled, “Xu Zhi Nan gave you a sword and you were able to ignore my orders. What if someone had promised you a greater benefit?”

Song Zi Heng looked up sharply, his eyes red with fear, he said, “Father, you have misunderstood son. Son’s sword was broken, so …”

“Are you accusing me for not giving you a sword?”

“No, no.”

“I promised you the sword at the Jiaolong assembly and did you come? Who do you blame for that?”

“Yes, it is son’s fault, but I have in no way deliberately disobeyed father’s orders. It is only that Gong Shu Ju, son thought that it would be unethical to seize their sect’s magical weapon, and it would also damage the prestige of my Song clan.”

“Gong Shu Ju is an earth deity magical weapon, when did it become the property of the Cangyu Sect?” Li Xiang Tong mocked, “For the sake of a sword, the eldest prince of the Daming Song Clan is deceiving his subordinates. Offending his superiors and accepting the benefits from one person while secretly helping another person. If this matter spreads, it will be ridiculed by everyone in the world.”

He kicked Song Zi Heng to the ground and said in a stern voice, “Kneel here and reflect on yourself, rebellious son.”

The group of people left in a mighty huff, leaving him alone on his knees in the snow.

Song Zi Heng’s eyes were blurred, tears hovering in his eyes, almost ready to fall, when suddenly, a piercing cold wind blew by and the hot tears were frozen into ice, sealing all his emotions.

He closed his eyes and straightened his back.

After nightfall, the Daming City was once again covered in snow, accompanied by a raging north wind that cut into Song Zi Heng’s flesh like a knife.

He knelt motionlessly, with snow accumulating on his body, getting thicker and thicker. His pure, unadulterated white body gradually blending with heaven and earth. The howling, bone-chilling wind, is a silent cry of grief in his chest.

—

After kneeling like this for a day and a night, the snow stopped. The sun came out and the snow melted, but Song Zi Heng seemed to feel nothing at all.

It was only when footsteps approached behind him that his sluggish brain reacted for a moment.

A person knelt down beside him.

Song Zi Heng slowly turned his stiff neck to see Song Zi Xiao’s pink and white face, his eyes stubbornly gazing ahead, but his tight jawline and slightly pursed lips all spoke of his anxiety.

“Xiao Jiu … what are you … doing …?” Song Zi Heng opened his mouth, his voice was hoarse and frightening, and every word was shaking beyond recognition.

Song Zi Xiao finally couldn’t help but turn his head to look at him and said with red eyes, “Father’s mission was given to both of us, and since we didn’t complete it, we have to be punished together.”

“Big brother … doesn’t need you to be like this, go back.”

Song Zi Xiao looked at Song Zi Heng’s blue and white face, cloudy eyes, and dry and cracked lips. His heart ached so much that he almost cried out, “You stupid bastard, why do you have to be like this?”

“How can you take by force for the things that don’t belong to you?”

“The Gong Shu Ju isn’t Xu Zhi Nan’s either, and he keeps holding onto it. He wants to keep it for himself!”

“Brother Xu has other reasons.”

Song Zi Xiao was filled with jealousy, “What makes you trust him so much. Just because he gave you a sword? I will give you something better in the future. I can give you anything. Why can’t you listen to me?”

Song Zi Heng closed his eyes and sighed, “Xiao Jiu, you are still young, there are many things that you don’t understand yet.”

“I will grow up soon.” Song Zi Xiao bit his lip, “When I grow up, no one can bully you, not even … not even Father.”

Song Zi Heng struggled to hold the corners of his mouth, “Get up quickly, don’t do anything stupid.”

Song Zi Xiao took hold of Song Zi Heng’s hand like ice cubes, “I’m going to be punished with you.”

“You will freeze.”

“Freeze then.” Song Zi Xiao wrapped both hands around his big brother’s hand and rubbed it hard, “If Father doesn’t pardon you, I’ll stay with you on my knees and we’ll freeze to death together.”

“Xiao Jiu, you’re getting more and more disobedient.” Song Zi Heng had lost too much strength to have the strength to educate his younger brother.

“Can I disobey?”

“… eh?”

“If I disobeyed occasionally, you wouldn’t ignore me and leave me alone, would you?”

“No.” Song Zi Heng said softly, “Big brother shouldn’t have hit you. That was not right of big brother.”

Song Zi Xiao said reluctantly, “I shouldn’t have gone and robbed Gong Shu Ju either.”

“Hmm.”

Song Zi Xiao sniffled, “I just don’t want Father to chastise you, I don’t want to upset you.”

Song Zi Heng said bitterly, “This is not something you should consider. Big brother only wants you to be a decent and upright person.”

“What’s so good about being a decent and upright person? To be aggrieved every time like big brother?”

Song Zi Heng lost his words for a moment.

Song Zi Xiao looked at his big brother, “It doesn’t matter, I want big brother to be the person he wants to be, and when I grow up, I will never let big brother suffer any more aggravation.”

Song Zi Heng shook Song Zi Xiao’s hand with his frozen hand, “Xiao Jiu, big brother will wait for you to grow up.”

—

Song Zi Heng was almost unconscious when he was pardoned. He was carried back to Qinghui Pavilion. He heard his mother’s cries coming into his ears from far and near. Heat sources suddenly appeared around him, and the heat came close to his frozen body like countless needles stabbing into his skin at the same time, reawakening his spirit and flesh with immense pain.

He eventually passed out.

When he woke up again, three days had passed and he had frostbite on all his limbs, gauze wrapped in layer after layer, and when he woke up, the pain awoke with him too, so painful that he didn’t dare to move much.

“Heng Er.” Shen Shi Yao, who was guarding the bedside, looked at him worriedly, “Are you awake?”

“Mother.” Song Zi Heng looked at his mother’s haggard face and said guiltily, “I’ve made you worry again.”

Shen Shi Yao said ruefully, “Do you really care if I worry? If you cared, why did you let your father down and disappoint me again and again?”

Song Zi Heng said gloomily, “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to disappoint you, but …” But he didn’t know why he always did what he thought was right, and in the end everyone said he was wrong, and everyone close to him was disappointed in him.

Was he really wrong? Even he couldn’t help but doubt himself.

Shen Shi Yao gently stroked his arm and said mournfully, “What’s the use of talking about this now? Mother only hopes that you will get better soon.”

Song Zi Heng held his mother’s hand, but did not know how to comfort her.

“Get well quickly. Wait till next spring’s Jiaolong assembly, and you will meet the Hua family’s daughter”

Song Zi Heng froze for a moment.

“I don’t expect you to please the emperor anymore. As long as that poisonous woman Li Xiang Tong is around, she will find ways to keep us from having a good time as mother and son, but we haven’t lost yet.” Shen Shi Yao said softly, “Li Xiang Tong is only backed by the Wuliang Sect, but if you become the son-in-law of the Huaying Sect, the emperor will certainly have to look at you differently and she will no longer dare to ride over our heads.”

Song Zi Heng hesitated, “Mother, I cannot force the Hua family’s daughter to like me, it depends on fate.”

“Both of you were meant for each other, it was that poisonous woman who had to interfere. Don’t worry, the Hua family’s daughter will not look at that trash Song Zi Mo.” Shen Shi Yao caressed Song Zi Heng’s face, and there was a warm fire in her eyes, “My son will definitely become the Hua family’s accomplished son-in-law, and will be the head of the Huaying Sect in the future.”

Song Zi Heng sensed that Shen Shi Yao’s desire for him to excel had turned into a deep obsession. His heart ached for his mother, but such an obsession made him tremble with fear. He could only say, “I, I hope I can let mother’s … wish come true.”

Shen Shi Yao pressed her face against the back of Song Zi Heng’s hand and murmured, “Mother depends all on you. In my whole life, I have lived a depressing life. Fortunately, I have a good son, you will definitely fight for mother, won’t you?”

“…”

“This is also for you. Mother wants you to have a magnanimous immortal path ah.”

“Mother, if …” Song Zi Heng whispered, “If you are tired of all this, son is willing to take you away from here. We will be far away from all these disputes and go live a free life, in fact …”

“What are you talking about?” Shen Shi Yao widened her beautiful eyes, “Don’t be silly, I am the consort of Emperor Song, you are the eldest prince of Emperor Song. How can you be willing to be ordinary? If I do leave here one day, it will be to join my son in the Huaying Sect. You are of noble birth and a superb natural talent, destined to be the honored one above millions of people. How can you venture such a wimpy thought?!”

“… I’m just, casually speaking.”

—-

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where did your elbows turn*[胳膊肘往哪儿拐]—it’s meaning represents selfishness