Yesterday - - - Chapter 30

Chapter 30

One’s intentions are the fastest changing things in the world. When I got in ShuTing’s car, I decided that I wanted to draw the line with ShuTing, thinking of how awkward it was being in his embrace. But when I get down from the car, I have already agreed to go to dinner with him at France’s most romantic restaurant. So much so that in the middle of the meal, I nauseatingly personally feed him a piece of steak that I had cut myself, bringing it up to ShuTing’s lips. ShuTing smiles as if he is in a middle of a dream, already forgetting what year it is.

The sound of violins rising and falling float through the restaurant, but in my ears, I only hear the sound of ice cracking. Ever since I decided to exploit ShuTing to get my revenge, this type of sound, enters my ears whenever I look at ShuTing. I can’t get rid of it. I understand very well that it is ShuTing’s future, the sound of his impending broken heart. It’s just that I, the cause of it all, is hearing it in advance, nothing more. Cruelty is in my nature, or is it something I learned from YuJiang?

I look at ShuTing, manly yet sincerely obedient, not daring to believe in his luck, my mind wandering while listening to him talk of his recent experiences.

“ShengSheng?” Realizing that my mind is wandering, ShuTing waves his hand in front of my eyes: “What are you thinking of? So absorbed.”

“O? It’s nothing.” I quickly drink a sip of the wine in the glass, and ask him: “ShuTing, have you decided to continue pursuing medicine? What will happen to your family business?”

“The family business is being taken care of by my older sister, she keeps asking me to go back and help her. But you know how I am, how can I accept such a living hell?”

“Actually, managing the family business is uniquely challenging, before I had the same opinion as you, but now, it has changed.” ShuTing puts down his knife and fork, and looks at me earnestly:

“ShengSheng, do you want me to succeed my family business?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s what I want.” I’m busy calculating in my heart and say lightly: “It would mean more if I could gallop on the market together with you.” ShuTing looks at me quietly. In that split second, I think that he had figured out my plan. But he puts down his silverware, and gently holds my hand, asking:

“ShengSheng, is it because supporting Huang enterprise is causing you to be overworked?” His expression, is simply one of extreme heartache. I don’t know what he is imagining, making him show such a pained expression. I’m the president of Huang enterprise, not a laborer. But then, an opportunity must be used, I lower my head and sigh softly:

“The market is like a battlefield, who wouldn’t be overworked? Finding an ally of one heart and one mind, is harder than scaling the heavens.” I steal a glance at him. “ShuTing, I’m very tired. So tired that I have nothing else to say.”

“If I were to succeed my family business, I will then be able to lend you a hand?”

“ShuTing, don’t force yourself on my behalf. That way, I won’t be able to take it, I would feel too guilty.” ShuTing immediately looks straight at me with shining eyes, saying:

“ShengSheng, what you said is right, only with formidable power, can one protect you from any harm.” At this moment, I’m a little touched. I lean on ShuTing’s shoulder saying:

“ShuTing, promise me one thing.”

“Just say it, I will promise you anything.”

“Never force yourself to do something, or tire yourself out, because of me.” ShuTing is silent for a moment, before saying in a low voice:

“ShengSheng, I promise you, that I will never force you, that I will never let you be tired.” This is an expected answer, but I can’t accept the deep love contained in those words. I feel a violent pain in my heart, shooting through my body while I stare at ShuTing in front of me. That ….. isn’t that the ShengSheng of yesterday? Such infatuation and single hearted devotion, in a dream that is slowly destroying oneself. Suddenly my anguish overflows, flooding into my marrow, forcing the blood to flow out of my four limbs, corroding my insides, so much pain that I almost scream wildly in this posh restaurant.

I shouldn’t! I shouldn’t! I shouldn’t be such a cruel person! I’m not YuJiang!

“ShengSheng, why are you sighing?” ShuTing leans over: “Why are you not happy?” He also sighs. He has no idea of the surge of magma currently churning in my narrow heart. I stare blankly at him, the light in my eyes flickering in and out, before finally sighing lifelessly, again leaning on his shoulder.

“ShuTing, I have one more wish.”

“Tell me.”

“Don’t treat me too well, that will only hurt me.”

“ShengSheng, you’re very special.” ShuTing laughs dotingly. He gently strokes my hair, tender actions full of love.

This is not bliss. This is sin.